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• The Jeremy Piven sushi drama just won't quit. Piven's dispute with producers over his decision to leave the cast of Speed-the-Plow will now be heard by an arbitrator in June. But Piven doesn't seem too worried: He says he's "looking forward to testifying," since President Obama recently described mercury poisoning as "the world's gravest chemical problem." [Reuters, Us, TMZ]
• Sean Penn and Natalie Portman were supposedly spotted "making out" at the Sunset Tower Hotel earlier this month. At least that's what the Star says. [Star]
• Are David Duchovny and Tea Leoni getting back together? They were spotted "canoodling" on the beach in Mustique. [NYDN]
Scarlett Johansson is on a "rigid diet" at the moment. She's also the "new muse" of Moet & Chandon, just so you know. [P6, WWD]

Mariah Carey has already reportedly spent $200,000 on baby furniture (all in pink, natch), even though she says she isn't pregnant. [NYDN]
• Britney Spears reportedly purchased an $8 million house in Alpine, New Jersey so she won't have to stay in hotels on the East Coast leg of her tour. Also, she's supposedly been sending texts to Adnan Ghalib, even though they've been ordered to stay apart. [NYDN, Sun]
• According to the National Enquirer, Nadya Suleman was once a stripper. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston is telling friends she thinks John Mayer "played her" since there's no way she would have gone with him to the Oscars if she'd known they were about to break up. [MSNBC]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have supposedly started sleeping in separate bedrooms, since Angie "won't let Brad near her at home." [Star]
• Isaiah Washington is facing eviction from his Los Angeles house for falling $100,000 behind on rent. [People]
• Juliette Lewis forgot the words to "YMCA" during a concert at SXSW. [P6]
CSI star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her husband. [People]
• Elizabeth Arden has been contacting magazines asking for "bereavement rates" for ads when Elizabeth Taylor dies. [P6]
• A man stalking Olympic gymnast and Dancing with the Stars contestant Shawn Johnson was arrested after he snuck on to the show's set with a gun. [NYDN]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's marriage is reportedly "on the rocks." You're crushed, we know. [P6]