Actually, no he won’t. But the former Growing Pains star and born-again nutjob does have a movie coming out called Fireproof, and according to the LA Times it “has been No. 1 in advance sales on movie ticketing site with 31% of this week's business, albeit in a slow marketplace— even outpacing sales for the big-budget popcorn thriller Eagle Eye, starring heartthrob Shia LaBeouf.” How in the name of Boner Stabone is this possible?You guessed it: Fireproof is another of Cameron's religious-themed movies, and thanks to bulk purchases by church groups, it seems likely to rake in the big bucks this weekend and beyond. So what will these crowds be treated to? How about Kirk Cameron as a heroic fireman who’s having problems with his wife? But instead of taking the heathen’s way out and getting a divorce, he looks to God to teach him how to be a better husband. Sounds thrilling to be sure, but don’t go expecting another Passion of the Christ here; Jesus on the cross can outdraw Kirk on the ladder any day. But still, you godless A-listers better watch your back: Cameron is coming for you, and he’s got the Lord on his side. Amen. [Photo Credit: Getty Images]