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• Despite several tabloid reports yesterday that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had broken up, they were photographed holding hands on Monday in Santa Barbara. So what's going on? "Things have been rocky the last few months, but they're working it out," one source tells the Post. ("They've been spending more time apart... and they've been reevaluating their relationship," another tells People.) Oh, and what about those Rihanna rumors? JT and Ri Ri are apparently just working on a track together. [People, P6, NYDN]
• Another dubious rumors making the rounds: that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are expecting a baby. Hudson's rep is denying it. [NYDN]
• Madonna told David Letterman that she'd "rather get run over by a train" than remarry again. Poor Jesus doesn't have a prayer, it seems. [HP]
• Lauren Conrad has snagged a movie deal for L.A. Candy, her debut novel about a totally unfamiliar topic, "a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life." [Variety]

Mariah Carey, overserved? Mimi was seen stumbling when she turned up at One Little West 12th the other night. She tripped twice while trying to get out of her car and reportedly "ordered a bottle of champagne but could barely speak." In happier Mariah news, she tells InTouch that her personal life used to be a mess: "I never thought I'd live this long." Guess it's a good thing Nick Cannon came along, huh? [P6, NYDN]
• The Harvard Voice, a student magazine, organized a campaign to harass Emma Watson while she was at the Brown-Harvard game this past weekend. It worked, apparently, because she reportedly looked "quite shaken" after it happened and security guards had to be called in. So, well done, nerd terror squad. [P6]
• Will Ferrell is expecting his third kid with wife Viveca Paulin. [People]
• Dennis Hopper was rushed to the hospital in New York City yesterday. It seems to be a case of the flu, you'll be relieved to hear. [TMZ]
• Is Elizabeth Edwards about to divorce her philandering former senator of a husband, John Edwards? That's what the National Enquirer is reporting, and while you should be pretty skeptical of anything you read in the tabloid, it was the Enquirer, after all, that first broke news of Edwards' affair. So, hey, it could very well be true, too. [National Enquirer]
• Has Kevin Dillon split from wife Jane Stuart? The actor was spotted flirting up a bunch of women in Vegas the other night. Then again, it could just be a side effect of working on Entourage. [P6]
• Audrina Patridge was granted a three-year restraining order against a guy who kept showing up at her house to share some poems with her. [TMZ]
• Megan Fox says she worked at a smoothie cafe while growing up and dressed up a banana as part of the job. She opted for the banana costume instead of an apple one "because it was thinner." Um, okay! [Nylon]
• Miley Cyrus is on tour with strep throat. This just might make her two-pack-a-day sounding voice seem more like a three-pack-a-day sounding voice. [People]
Jay-Z and Fat Joe are apparently still feuding... sort of. They didn't talk at club Imperial the other night, and Jay-Z upstaged Fat Joe by rolling up in a phat Jeep blasting his new song and then spinning in the DJ booth. [P6]
• Rumor has it Sarah Palin's people are looking to land her a beauty endorsement contract. [P6]
• Lisa Marie Presley is pissed that her nanny violated her confidentiality agreement by posting pics of Presley's twins on Facebook. So Presley's suing the nanny. Or countersuing, actually, since the nanny has already filed suit against Lisa Marie for making her work overtime without extra pay. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse and her ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, have been exchanging living messages on Facebook. Or at least that's what the nonsensical ramblings seemed to be. [The Sun]
• Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan have called off their engagement. Again. [NYDN]
• Shakira has signed on to guest star on ABC's Ugly Betty. [People]
The Hills' Jason Wahler has been arrested (again). This time it was for assault and "minor drinking," which is what he was cuffed for last time, too. At least he's consistent, right? [Radar]
• Rihanna isn't lacking in the self-confidence department. She attended a fashion show in Paris in a semi-see-through black dress. [The Sun]
• The outrage over Roman Polanski's arrest continues, and now his neighbors in Gstaad are up in arms. Hey, when did the Swiss start taking sides? [P6]