"Joe the Plumber" is going to war! Some website is paying him to go to Israel and talk about things he knows nothing about, specifically everything. We were so close to being rid of him!

Joe the Plumber, whose name is not Joe and who is not a plumber, is a dumb Clinton-era parody of an "angry white man" convinced of various falsehoods and given to repeating them loudly to whoever will listen. For a time, last October, television cameras were the ones listening, and Joe happily shouted lies at these cameras, and then he followed John McCain around the country for a while, even though he (Joe) hated him (John).

By the time the election put John McCain out of his misery, it was apparent to everyone that Joe was a fairly standard-issue asshole right-wing crank, like your uncle who has all those ancient Rush Limbaugh books. And after his month of quasi-fame, Joe has valiantly tried to build his brand. Joe the Plumber will help you convert your analog tv to digital, on the internet! He designed an awesome MSPaint cover for his forthcoming book and it looks like at some point he actually got someone semi-professional to fix the weird website some other guy gave him.

(Oh man, did the book ever materialize? You can "buy it" online but it doesn't appear to have been printed or shipped to anyone on Earth. Here's a pretty great Amazon review.)

In other words, Joe's attempts at extending his fame have been tremendous failures, because he is not an interesting or intelligent person, at all.

So now he's going to Israel to watch the war! Joe will be sent courtesy PJTV, the video operation of blog network Pajamas Media, a network of conservative warbloggers. From a presidential debate to prime time cable news interviews to local tv advertising to, now, internet video is obviously a downward spiral, but he seems to be getting paid to report on a war, overseas, which is astounding and absurd. As Joe said himself, when Shepard Smith yelled at him for claiming Barack Obama would personally nuke Israel from space, "Listen, you don't want my opinion on foreign policy."

Joe told some TV station in Toledo that he will let Israel's '''Average Joes' share their story.'' So we'll soon be introduced to "Avi the Average Unemployed Tax Cheat Claiming to Be a Well-Off Middle Class Tradesman Who Also Happens to be a Staunch Likudnik." We thought the Israelis were America's bestest allies! Why would we send them this asshole? Do conservative bloggers secretly hate Israel?

And now Ashley Todd will get a column in the Wall Street Journal. (Called "The 'B' Section") (GET IT?)