Britney Spears will somehow seduce a publisher into paying millions for three books from her; Lindsay Lohan wants to re-seduce Gotham via magazine spread and Dan Abrams keeps seducing actresses.

  • Britney Spears has supposedly been offered the sum of $14 million for a three-to-five books about herself over the course of a decade. And yet she still tips poorly.
  • MSNBC hottie Dan Abrams is now dating Renée Zellweger. The shady influence broker's conquests have included Elle Macpherson.
  • Lindsay Lohan is going to try posing sexy in a New York magazine again and see if it takes her anywhere interesting. [Sun]
  • Chesley Sullenberger, the hero pilot, enjoyed a low-key inaugural celebration at a DC restaurant called (yes) Hudson with fellow crew members. [P6]
  • Joaquin Phoenix continued to be a train wreck, flashing a Las Vegas crowd through his corduroy pants and yelling at a documentary crew.
  • Jude Law wasn't about to go to the Box without his "protective collar." [P6]
  • Animal-hoarding monster Paris Hilton was somehow given an award by the Humane Society. [E!]
  • Wesley Snipes can't even get free headphones at Sundance without somebody trying to snitch him out for tax evasion. [P6]
  • Paula Abdul invented dancing with cartoon animals in music videos. She also invented Beyonce. And Rihanna. And pop music itself. You're welcome. [Showbiz Spy]