Nobody would be surprised if skeevy American Apparel boss Dov Charney and nebbishy, schoolgirl-stroking Woody Allen turned out to be the same person. So naturally they're in court, accusing each other of the same things.

Woody wants $10 million because American Apparel ripped off his visage for a billboard. People will think he's a perv, like Dov! American Apparel responds: you're not worth $10 million. You're a perv!

"We believe that Mr. Allen's popularity has decreased significantly, especially in light of the scandals he's been associated with," American Apparel lawyer Stuart Slotnick told The Post...

"The term 'sex scandal' shall mean . . . your relationship with Soon-Yi Previn including the discovery and public reports thereof, the nude pictures you took of Soon-Yi Previn, and your marriage to Soon-Yi Previn," Charney's lawyers wrote.

A huge portion of his adult life is defined as a "sex scandal." Just like Dov! American Apparel is right in noting that there's no way Woody Allen could get $10 million for his endorsement from anyone. He'd endorse, what...Viagra? Glasses? It's not happening. His name has been far less prominent lately even in the ads for his own movies. It's a shame that Dov and Woody, two soul brothers, have to be fighting like this. Can't they just kiss and make out? [NYP]