Hey, it's the fifth of May everyone! Time to watch Kathie Lee embarrass herself on national television in a celebration of what white people think is Mexican culture.

In Mexico, Cinco de Mayo is a minor observation of a 19th century battle by the Mexican army against the French and is therefore pretty irrelevant to Hispanic people of non-Mexican descent. Here in the States, it's a crazy made-up themed drinking holiday for honkies in sweaters. Maybe we're supposed to pray for the victims of swine flu or something.

Honestly, how we celebrate it in California, home to the nation's largest Hispanic population: We hoist a Tecate to our local taco truck, and drink in the memory of the New Yorkers who must make do with subpar burritos. Suck on those rock-hard, underripe avocados, Kathie and Hoda!