Do you know what a Flirtext is? Let me inflict this on you: it's flirting. While texting. And someone got a book published out of it.

The two entrepreneurial spirits who were birthed from the loins of a Chick Lit printing press and The Zack Morris Motorola wrote an entire book - and maintain a blog - on the "art" of flirting within texts. Some choice excerpts from their interview with CNN:

"We say, "If you don't wanna date, abbreviate."

....I think flirtexting is all about empowering. It's all about you choosing your moment. Girls can choose their moment. Girls can decide what they want to get out of this text in order to ask him out, or is it a date, or for him to just meet up with you that night just to have a good laugh, and banter back and forth because you're bored at work. This is all that it's about.

In flirtexting there are the most important three dos. We call them "The Three Ts."...

...And the third one is texting plan. If you're going to be flirtexting off the chain like we do then you're going to need an unlimited texting plan."

Have you had enough yet? This is the figure-four leg-lock of facepalm. Most of it's common sense stuff: don't text when you're drunk. Don't text "I love you" the first time you talk to a girl. Don't text anything too heavy. More about not abbreviating. And not that I know or care who Skyhorse Publishing is, but they're about to give America more where this thing came from.

"There's hopefully more books. I think guys are really interested to know what girls are thinking. We've taught girls how to text her way into his heart and now we think guys are really wanting to know how to get into our hearts."

Right, well, you know that guy who hawks his self-published HOW TO STICK YO FOOT UP THE DEVIL'S ASS? in front of Piano's on the weekends? Somebody put him on the phone with the good people at Skyhorse Publishing. Meanwhile, I tried out a few of the girls' tips this morning. The results, for your enjoyment: