Anderson Cooper's mom's sexy erotica book is coming out next week! Gloria Vanderbilt is 85 and not taking any crap from anybody when it comes to, oh, kinky food sex fantasies. The New York Times is scandalized! Details!
But it nevertheless uses vocabulary and describes activities of a sort that readers of The New York Times are usually shielded from. There are scenes involving dildos, whips, silken cords and golden nipple clamps, not to mention an ebony, smooth-backed Mason Pearson hairbrush purchased at Harrods. As the book explains, spanking with a Mason-Pearson is a "serious matter," not the kind of thing that is rewarded with the "luscious afterglow of warm cocoa butter." Mint, cayenne pepper and a fresh garden carrot are deployed in the book in ways never envisioned by "The Joy of Cooking." And there is also a unicorn, though, blessedly, it remains a bystander.
Did you understand the implications of that, New York Times readers? They're saying that the unicorn's horn is not used as a dildo in this Glorida Vanderbilt book. AC seems a little sheepish but supportive, and Vanderbilt herself is incredibly blasé about the whole thing, so we must give her our hearty support and admiration for doing her thing as she wants in the face of the prim opposition of New York Times standards editors. If you know any such editors, be sure to buy them a smooth-backed hairbrush.
[NYT. Pic via]