It's now scientifically proven: 40 percent of Twitter is "pointless babble," and the rest is mainly replies to pointless babble, and spam. But there are a few very interesting tweeters; they scare the hell out of celebrities like William Shatner.
- "Dear @ WilliamShatner: I need you to come to my house to save my marriage. No sex involved."
- "Unless you *want* to have sex. Which is totally fine."
- "But not with me though because I'm married. Please bring your own hooker."
- "Oh my God, what am I saying? I am the worst hostess ever. I will totally provide the hooker if you just come to dinner."
- "I need to know your preferences though or else I'll just default to hot Asian cheerleader."
- "Fuck. Dear @WilliamShatner. Please ignore my last several tweets. I'm a little drunk. And dangerously close to paying too much for travel."
- "Please come to my house and save me from myself."
- "Please give me a sign."
- "Victor: GET OFF TWITTER. I'VE BEEN STABBED." (Not addressed directly to Shatner)
Actually, we don't get it either: We'd rather read about hookers, Robert Scoble murdering rabbits and some crazy lady's husband getting stabbed than about 95% of what's on Twitter already. Then again, we don't have a wholesome Christmas song to pimp, and no one's going to write a tabloid story about us if we ignore a fan who writes "save me from myself" and then does something stupid.