Who is the big winner in this Salacious Tiger Woods Sex Scandal? Self-promoting pansexual former gay magazine editor Neal Boulton.

Neal Boulton is the upstanding one here, see? He was forced, forced by his conscience, to tell Keith Kelly that he had no choice but to quit his job as editor of Men's Fitness, in moral protest, when the magazine got Tiger Woods to be on its cover in exchange for covering up news of his dirty, sexxxy affairs.

"We were going to [do a quid pro quo with] America's favorite sports star, just to get his name on the cover of a magazine," said Boulton. "That was too much for me. That's when I high-tailed it out of there."

David Pecker, CEO of AMI [which owns both the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness], denies this and calls Boulton a "disgruntled former employee." The truth is, there are no winners here, ladies and gentlemen. None.

[Disclosure: Neal Boulton once commissioned a freelance article from me and then never paid me for it so I am biased against him.]