Yes, they were all at the West Chelsea club last night, and our tipster got all the dirt. Snooki is tiny, The Situation wears velvet, DJ Paulie Dashing is charming, and Sammi and Ronnie are still together!

The picture above is the boys from the show posing with our tipster and a friend. Here is her complete report. It is incredibly thorough and detailed (poor, forgettable Vinny). We should give this girl a job, or at least an internship:

Like an early gift from Santa himself, last night I met the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Here's how it went down. I do not regularly go to clubs, but last night my friend wanted to go to Marquee and after several rounds of drinks, who was I to say no? We go and the first thing we notice is a black pompadour sticking up over one of the couches. And next to the pomp, was a definite situation. Seated was Paulie D, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie and that other one. Here's the rundown on our friends from NJ.

Snooki: In person, she's shorter and tanner than you would even dream of. She was cautious and definitely not used to "fame" yet. Her tits were HUGE and she was NOT the center of attention. I asked her to do some back hand springs and she politely refused. I asked if she planned on pursuing cheerleading professionally and she said yes.

The Situation: A total dickhead, in just the way I wanted him to be. He was too cool to speak to pretty much anyone other than the other cast members. HIS JACKET WAS VELVET! And he would not show us his abs.

Paulie D: Totally sweet. Talked to us for a while, I asked him about the scene where he turned away from that busted blonde girl and he laughed uncontrollably. I was very scared of his hair, but managed to cop a feel.

Ronnie and Sammi: Looked like they were still together, sat on the couch by themselves the entire night. In a nut shell, BORING! Oh, and Ronnie looks better on TV than in person.

The Other One: Don't know his name, but he was there.

One interesting note... Snooki and The Situation were together ALL NIGHT!! They were practically connected at the hip and I wouldn't be surprised if they are hooking up!

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