State of the Union time! There will be special commenting, and drinking, from your favorite bloggers, as long as your favorite bloggers are me! But what should we expect, and when should we drink?
Now, let us examine the special guests: We have Kid Scientists (like on Letterman!), entrepreneurs (some of whom benefited from the stimulus!), soldiers (some of whom benefited from the GI bill!), Haiti's ambassador to the US, some lady who had some problem with her credit card, and one person whose family was denied coverage by an insurance company. Sorry, health care! Looks like it's more stimulus's night to shine.
With that in mind, let us propose the Official Drinking Game
Obama says "The state of the union is strong" One drink.
Obama says "let me be clear..." One drink.
Obama says "look...." One drink.
Obama says "the state of our union is [not the word 'strong' here]" Two drinks.
Obama mentions Health Care Reform Pour a shot of whiskey.
Obama calls on the House to pass the Senate bill Drink that shot of whiskey, for medicinal purposes.
Obama calls for both parties to go back to the negotiating table to draft a bipartisan compromise Pour the whiskey directly on the gaping wound that you are otherwise leaving untreated because you cannot afford another emergency room bill.
Obama mentions Cap and Trade Make a guest pay nominal fee for the privilege of smoking in your apartment.
Obama doesn't mention Cap and Trade Politely ask your guests to at least crack a window if they are going to smoke cigars and, for some reason, burn a plastic bag full of hair.
Obama introduces a soldier Raise a toast.
Obama introduces a gay soldier Do a hilarious spit-take.
Obama mentions the SPENDING FREEZE Send someone on a liquor run—tell them not to bother picking up any more beer but ask for a case of Dudognon Cognac and a couple bottles of Dom Perignon 1996.
Obama mentions Scott Brown Take a long, long drink of something you will probably regret drinking in the morning, but which you have just committed yourself to drinking for two years.
Obama says "Tea Parties" Put on blackface, eat fried chicken, and drink Colt 45 while shouting "WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CALLING ME A RACIST YOU'RE THE REAL RACIST"
Obama says "Teabaggers" Dip your scrotum into your partner's beverage. If you are a woman, grow a pair.
A Republican shouts "You Lie!" Drink something absolutely vile and learn later that lots of other people were totally inspired by this beverage.
Joe Biden shouts "You Lie!" Stop drinking?
Obama says "Team CoCo" Work hard and be kind.
Obama mentions James O'Keefe Dress as a plumber and break into a liquor store by claiming you need to fix the pipes. Drink whatever you can grab.
Obama mentions the iPad OMG! FUCKING TWEET ABOUT IT! TWEET HAS HARD AS YOU CAN!
Now! Let us all drink, in the comments.