Robert Pattinson did a steamy photo shoot with lots of hot, kinda nekkid models for basically gay straight lad-mag Details, in which he told his interviewer that he is "allergic to vagina." Besides being an awesome pullquote, is it true?
Since we can't get in touch with Pattinson's allergist on a Sunday, there's no way to verify whether or not he's actually allergic to ladyparts, or if he's been vaccinated to touch the ladyparts of girlfriend Kristen Stewart, or what he does when bumrushed by thousands of his psychopathic, screaming, bloodthirsty teenage fans. All we know is the quote he gave Details, which is, when talking about the photo shoot accompanying the fairly bizarre profile:
"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover."
Now, if we dismiss the assumable context of him not being gay ("allergic," ahem) or not being a misogynist ("allergic," ahem) as he essentially gave the writer and readership of a (basically gay) magazine the exact kind of pullquote they were looking for, one's curiosity could—as it is wont to—be piqued: Could Robert Pattenson actually be allergic to vaginas?
Well, if you ask the right people, you might find some experiences in this kind of thing. You can, in fact, be allergic to semen, which is called "human seminal plasma hypersensitivity." In some cases, it can cause DEATH. Seriously. SPOILER ALERT: This is how Kristen Stewart dies in the last Twilight movie. But there's very little information out there on actual vaginae allergies. Most guys probably just need to get their wangs checked for STDs and the like. And if you're allergic to Vagina, unless it's like, a fatal allergy, you can basically put a condom or gloves or a roll of saran wrap on Booty Call-style and just deal with it (literally).
But actually, Robert Pattenson isn't allergic to vaginas, or ladyparts, or whatever, and the rest of the interview makes him out to be a pretty smart guy, which is aside from saying that men who are afraid of vaginas or "allergic" to them or say they have any kind of unique relationship with their own biology and foreign vaginae are
(B) Kind of a misogynist,
(C) Basically right in line with the rest of Details' homoerotic (but totally straight) readership of insecure metrosexual narcissists,
(E) Lying, or Lying to get out of the end of a really, really bad date or
(F) All of the above.
The correct answer, by the way, is (F). And now you know.
[Photo via Details.]