Vincent Gallo is a giver. In the past, the actor/director/pervert has put his seed and his sexual "company" on the auction block. Now, because "I'd rather buy shoes," he is auctioning the snobbiest painting in America and other five-figure treasures.

Based on a Page Six item about Vincent's eBay sale of a Julian Schnabel painting, seller nvbvn appears to be Mr. Gallo. Along with a handful of fancy musical equipment ($60,000 for a vintage syntheszier) Vincent is selling a "Schnabel Clemente Oldman Basquiat Gallo ARTWORK" for $25,000. Page Six explains the painting's tangled creation myth:

When Gallo portrayed painter Francesco Clemente in Schnabel's directorial debut, "Basquiat" (1996), his scene was a re-creation of a dinner at Mr. Chow where Schnabel drew Clemente's portrait in a guest book facing the page where he drew Schnabel's portrait. Since Gary Oldman played Schnabel in "Basquiat," Clemente drew Oldman's face opposite Schnabel's likeness of Gallo. Schnabel gave both drawings to Gallo for appearing in the movie.

In other words, the guy whose dick Chloe Sevigny sucked in that one movie with the onscreen dick-sucking gets his dick sucked by a bunch of artists and this painting is the ensuing mess.

Vincent's 916-word description of this painting begins with Gallo's own creation myth, including phrases "my industrial noise band Bohack," "sensitive and passionate," "eating dinner at Mr. Chow," and "my face." Then he explains why he cannot bear to display this work:

You see there is a little problem with the painting. Unfortunately my face is in the painting and I simply don't want to hang up a painting of my face. I prefer to forget what i look like. Though many have called me a narcissist, the truth is I don't even have mirrors in my home. And the last thing I want is to look at my face in a painting.

If Schnabel had painted his dick, we might have a different story. Here is why Vincent must use a monetary transaction to get rid of the work:

Frankly I'm just too cheap to give it away for nothing regardless of how surprisingly wealthy I have become. And besides, when a person makes a sacrifice and a commitment to a piece of art, that type of exchange gives energy to the work itself. This piece deserves that energy.

To acquire a picture of this man's face to hang on your wall, bid here.