Sure, there are ads on TV and at school and on subways and in the bathroom and in elevators and on stray cats. But once you reach the store, will you remember those eleventy billion ads? Enter: in-store teevee ads.

The NYT reports that a new company is here, ready to mount small teevees on shopping aisles right on the shelf holding the product being advertised. It cannot get any easier, sheeple; simply consult the nearest soothing flickering screen, then reach your hand forward and pluck the advertised item off of the shelf and deposit it in your shopping basket. It's a test of physical and mental acuity that even the average American can pass. No longer will you be expected to hold a marketing message in your mind for more than a few seconds. Simply follow the directions on the closest teevee screen, give your money to the nice man at the register, and then awaken as if from a daze, wondering what all this crap you bought is.

It's like life.