Accusations of "fame-whoring" and emotional abuse flew, but in the end Jake was "just not that into" Vienna. It makes sense: hot dude—with perfectly-groomed eyebrows—moves to LA, begins an acting career, and forgets about his possibly cross-eyed fiancée.

End of story, right? Of course not! Jake and Vienna's courtship began on The Bachelor territory, and thus, must be documented and filmed by ABC for the world to enjoy. And oh, we enjoyed it.

This selection of the pair's fighting pretty much sums up the entire interview—save a few fights about Vienna's dog and their GPS system:

...Except for this portion, where Jake responds to a question about their lack of intimacy, that we're pretty sure the two admit to never consummating their relationship.

Finally, Vienna cracks and begins to cry and walks off the set. So... this round goes to Jake?

Personally—and I've never watched The Bachelor before in my life—it seems as though the pair weren't very compatible from the start. Sure, Vienna moved across the country to live with Jake in LA, but she's just as much of a "fame whore" as he is. Jake just happens to be better at it. From his stint on Dancing With the Stars (where I predicted trouble for the happy couple) to his funny appearances alongside Joel McHale on The Soup, Jake what-ever-his-name-is will end up dating hotties and using his good looks to stick around Hollywood for awhile. With those incredibly-groomed eyebrows, he'll be hosting a reality show of his own in no time.