Taylor Swift writes an angry song about an older man named John. Anne Hathaway "cried everyday" filming sex scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal. Christina Aguilera's inevitable lesbian divorce rumors arrive. Tuesday gossip sings for its supper.

Did Taylor Swift just call John Mayer a cradle robber? Lyrics from her new song, "Dear John": "It was wrong / Don't you think nineteen's too young / To be played / By your dark, twisted games / When I loved you so." Apparently Swift was "romantically linked" to 33-year-old Mayer when she was 19. Here's a picture of them hugging. Do you get "dark, twisted" vibes from it? [Us, images via Getty]

  • In the wake of filing for divorce from husband Jordan Bratman, has Christina gone gay with Lindsay Lohan ex Samantha Ronson? I made a joke about this when it was first noted that Christina filed for divorce after a girls-only weekend with Samantha, Nicole Richie, and others. Now, the inevitable "OMG THEY SCISSORED" rumor has arrived: "The two have been inseparable," "I've seen them hanging out together," "Christina Aguilera really lets down her guard around Sam." And since lesbians never hang out with straight women platonically, they are "on the rebound" together. [X17]
  • Alternate Christina Aguilera divorce rationale rumor: Xtina was so "upset and frustrated" about the abysmal failure of her latest album that she decided it was Jordan's fault. [P6]

Doing naked sex scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal for Love and Other Drugs, Anne Hathaway "was a wreck from start to finish. I think I cried every single day. I had to lean so much more heavily on everyone around me than I'm used to. I'm used to pulling my own weight. But I totally fell apart." This is because she had just broken up with fraudster sleazebag boyfriend Rafaello Folieri. This gem comes from Anne's interview with Vogue, which has her looking a little like Eva Mendes on the cover , no? [Us, image via Vogue's Tumblr]

  • As for the real Eva Mendes: Her relationship with Peruvian filmmaker George Gargurevich, her boyfriend of eight years, is apparently "on the rocks." [P6]
  • Gabrielle Union met Barack Obama and was overjoyed: "We have so many mutual friends from Harvard Law, like Hill Harper." Why is she friends with so many Harvard lawyers? [P6]
  • Rachel Zoe's pregnant red carpet look: About the same as her non-pregnant one. [Us]
  • As expected, the Tiger Woods sex tape is a fake: A boxer named Teneal Goyco says prostitute-turned-porn-star Devon James paid him to "pretend to be Tiger Woods" and fuck her on camera. Unfortunately, nobody seems to have pictures of Teneal, so we are unable to assess his relatively look-alike-ness to the horniest golfer of all time. [Radar]

After yesterday's music video debut, 9-year-old Willow Smith announced she'd like to collaborate with Lady Gaga and Jay-Z. [Rap-Up]

  • When Madonna's former lovers meet each other, it is like opposite magnets repelling: Guy Ritchie and Jesus Luz both ended up at an Ultimate Fighting Championship match's red carpet (ultimate fighting has red carpets?) but Ritchie "barreled" away, while Jesus Luz stood around smiling pretty for the cameras. Never say that boy doesn't know his strengths. [P6]
  • Dina and Michael Lohan are fighting over Lindsay. Michael called Dina "enabling, lying white trash," and Dina said, "I know you are, but what am I?" Just kidding, for the first time in her life she refused to comment. [P6]
  • Octomom still has 29 embryos in the frozen baby bank where she stores her progeny-to-be. No word on whether she plans on use them, god forbid. [Radar]