What would you do for $15 an hour? This "syndicated columnist" is looking for hired help with everything from "improving my image" to "dance instruction," to yardwork. Only omni-talented super geniuses need apply.

"Hello, I'm a friendly syndicated columnist located in the Chinatown/Penn Quarter of downtown DC," begins her ad. She is "approaching the launch of a new journalistic enterprise!" So, "given my busy schedule, I'm looking for part-time help in various ways... I pay $15 an hour and am flexible in terms of hours."

Here is what she needs help with. ("I like working with a person who is enthusiastic and energetic."):

A) Help with fitness goals (I'm a slender, healthy person who already exercises. But I'd like to do better on my exercise—including stretching, aerobics, weight training etc.). Perhaps you're a fitness buff, former athlete or maybe a yoga enthusiast who could keep me motivated and on track with my exercise goals. I'm also interested in doing more cycling!

B) Help culling through my wardrobe, improving my image, selecting better clothes etc.

C) Help learning more about makeup, hair styling and so forth.

D) Help with basic interior design and the selection of furnishings. This would be a good job for someone with an eye for design and perhaps a background in art.

E) ***Start-up planning (business planning) for a new journalistic enterprise This would be a good job for someone who's already been involved in a successful entrepreneurial venture, who has strong entrepreneurial instincts, who has a marketing/advertising background or who is an MBA student or grad. Alternatively, it would be helpful (though not necessary) for this person to have had experience in mainstream journalism (as an intern, reporter, editor or producer) or to be a journalism student or grad.

Beyond these top priorities, I'm also looking for help with the following:

1) Organizing/filing. This is roll-up-your—sleeves work-for someone with a solid work ethic.

2) Yardwork/ gardening. Ideally you would love making a small yard and gardens look beautiful.

3) In-depth cleaning. This is a good job for a neatnik—someone not afraid of hard work. (My environment is generally very clean, orderly and clutter free.)

4) Dance instruction. I'd like to learn basic steps for any type of ballroom or Latin dancing. (You don't have to be a formal dance instructor, just know some basic steps.)

5) Do body work on my two cars. This is for someone who has experience doing minor body work/ painting/ minor repairs on cars.

6) Writing/editing. Journalism training or background is especially valued. Please include a writing sample into your message if you would like to do this work. (Kindly cut/paste this into your email and avoid sending attachments.)

7) Transcribing interviews.

8) Photography/expertise on camera use, Photoshop, printing digital photos etc. (It would be especially good to find someone who does a lot of black-and-white photography work.)

9) Social/interpersonal skills. (I'm good at these but could still use pointers from someone who is superb at cultivating friendships and staging great parties.)

10) **Computer and technology instruction (one-on-one). Are you tech savvy? I'm especially interested in learning more about Windows and such Microsoft software as Word and Outlook. Plus, it would be good to know more about iPhone or BlackBerry apps.

11) **Broadcasting or radio training.

12) Guidance/advice for my offspring (a Georgetown University undergraduate) who would like to learn more about careers in finance/banking/economics and/or medical school and possibly to obtain an internship in one of these career fields.

13) Resume writing and job interviewing skills.

14) Web design or guidance with this.

15) Art. I'm in the market for artistic work. (If you're an artist and have a website, perhaps you'd like to send me a link.)

16) Informal help with budgeting, personal finance and related planning. (This is a good job for someone who is good with numbers or possibly a student studying business or finance.)

17) Help crafting a good, (entrepreneurial) business plan. This would be good for someone with an entrepreneurial background.) (Please see #E above. This is the essentially the same work.)

18) Help with interior painting (basic walls and trim).

Sad thing is, the job market is so bad she'll probably get 1,000 applicants.

[Image via shutterstock]