The professor behind Northwestern University's Hot Live Fucksaw demonstration has issued a statement today — and he's a little bit sorry, maybe. The Daily Northwestern has the full text of Prof. John Michael Bailey's apology, but here are some highlights:

I regret the effect that this has had on Northwestern University's reputation, and I regret upsetting so many people in this particular manner. I apologize.

He's sorry, everyone! Oh, but only kind of sorry. Shame on you, consumers of mass media:

During a time of financial crisis, war, and global warming, this story has been a top news story for more than two days. That this is so reveals a stark difference of opinion between people like me, who see absolutely no harm in what happened, and those who believe that it was profoundly wrong.

No harm no foul, Prof. We like where you were going with this any way. And really, who wouldn't want to watch a fucksaw demonstration in class? But he apologized, and it's now time to overanalyze the events of February 21st in true liberal arts fashion:

I am working with undergraduate students to arrange an event that includes high-­‐level discussion and debate about the February 21st demonstration and the issues it has raised. I invite President Schapiro to work with us to help ensure that this event is as intellectually valuable as it should be.

Talking about fucksaws and squirting and their effect on human sexuality and the media in a room full of college kids promises to be "intellectually valuable."