Remember the government's color-coded terror alert system? Sure you do. It was fun, festive, and went with everything. Well, it's history. Back in January, the Department of Homeland Security announced plans to phase out the system. So what will replace it? As of April 27, terror alerts will come in just two forms —"elevated" and "imminent"— and will be broadcast over the two most popular social networks.

That's right: Simply follow Homeland Security's Twitter feed or click "like" on their stupid Facebook page for up-to-the-minute reports on subway bombings!

But what of those among us not obsessed with tagging friends in unflattering photographs or retweeting Charlie Sheen catchphrases? Certainly grandma and grandpa deserve to be warned of impending terror attacks, too. Yes, yes, of course. Social networking updates are just one step in a meticulously laid-out notification process that begins with "federal, state and local leaders" and ends in inevitable, widespread panic.

Still, no outside threat seems quite as terrifying as the notion of our country's anti-terrorist forces hopping aboard the Twitter train, and all the public back-and-forthing (e.g. "YES! LOL!!! RT @KimKardashian: ANTHRAX?? That's bad, right??") such an arrangement implies. [AP]