Guess whose turn it is now to accept a fat welfare check from the world of conservative publishing imprints? It's Donald Trump's turn, naturally! The skinny-mouthed death hologram has signed on with Regnery Publishing — the folks behind bestsellers from Michelle Malkin, David Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, and whoever else sucks — for a "policy book," to be written on a crash schedule and released late this summer.

The work, according to Real Clear Politics, "will be heavily ghostwritten, with Trump playing a supporting role in generating content." Donald Trump is going to spend four seconds, at most, working on his own policy book — just enough time to give dictation on his two political positions: "China, fuck them. OPEC, fuck them." How is this poor ghostwriter going to fill the rest of the book? Just make up cutesy tax credits for a couple hundred pages, we guess, and then "seal the deal" with another 85 pages of expired Trump golf course coupons.

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