Everyone knows that if you use your cell phone while flying, your plane automatically crashes into the ocean. Just common sense. Now a leaked report from the International Air Transport Association confirms it.
The report, obtained by ABC News, "documents 75 separate incidents of possible electronic interference that airline pilots and other crew members believed were linked to mobile phones and other electronic devices."
It's mostly anecdotal evidence, sure. But terrifying anecdotes! Like this: "A clock spun backwards and a GPS in cabin read incorrectly while two laptops were being used nearby. During another flight, the altitude control readings changed rapidly until a crew member asked passengers to turn off their electronic devices."
Next time we see someone using a laptop on the plane, we are going scream, karate chop it onto the floor, then place them under citizen's arrest. For our own safety.