In Oregon, two teen friends alleviated their boredom by grabbing their trusty hatchets, heading to a local city park, and chopping down trees—just like you used to do when you were a bored teen, back in the 1760s.

When a police officer finally caught up to the duo—who possibly belong to the Mark Sanford Appreciation Society—they explained that they hacked the shit out those trees because "there was nothing better to do," and besides, "it's better than drinking." Sadly, they were wrong: in their town, teenage drinking is only a violation, but chopping down city-owned trees can be classified as felony criminal mischief. Silly teens don't know anything.