To make your own version of the world's most expensive dessert, go to Costco and pick up a two-carat diamond, a squeezable bottle of champagne jelly (they sell an economy-sized version now), champagne caviar, bitter dark chocolate, orange, peach and whiskey-flavored Belgian chocolate, "a light biscuit joconde" (not this kind of joconde but this kind), a gold ring, some pink things, and several sheets of gold leaf.

Then take it all home, mix it all up in a bowl, and turn it all into a pudding decorated with chocolate roses and the pink things (sorry, skipped some steps here). Put the pudding in a golden Faberge egg, and Voila! Your very own $34,000 after-dinner treat.

Too bad this dessert looks like some some of tchotchke your Aunt Bea (who lives in a split-level in Tampa and collects porcelain angels) might have purchased from the Home Shopping Network back in 1988. That's probably not the aesthetic that Wave Jewellery and Lindeth Howe Country House Hotel head chef Marc Guilbert were going for when they whipped this thing up, but that's the result they've achieved. Also: Who would want to eat something with all those different flavor sensations going on at the same time? Sounds like total taste bud cacophony. Suppressing the urge to gag just looking at it.