So, if you wake up early tomorrow morning and the moon looks, like, enormous? And is blood red? Don't worry! It's not because the elder gods have returned to exact their brutal form of justice upon humankind.

It's a total lunar eclipse! And, ha ha, there you were clutching your bible and reciting Hail Marys, as if your pathetic "Jesus" would help protect you from Yog-Sothoth, puny one. You can calm down and enjoy what should be a pretty spectacular show, especially if you live on the west coast (or on the western edge of the Pacific):

In North America, skywatchers located in western Canada and the United States should have a great view of the eclipse, which will start at around 7:45 a.m. EST (4:45 a.m. PST, 1245 GMT), when the Earth's shadow begins to creep across the lunar disk.


By 9:05 a.m. EST (6:05 a.m. PST, 1405 GMT), the moon will be fully engulfed in a glow that could range from light orange to blood red.

Skywatchers in the central time zone may get only a short glimpse, as the moon will set while it is only partially eclipsed, before the total eclipse stage begins, MacRoberts said. Unfortunately, people farther east will also miss out on the opportunity due to the setting moon and rising sun.

The reason the moon will turn red is because that will be the color of the rivers and oceans after Azazel opens the throats of those who have been false to the True Faith. Ha! Kidding! Again! It's because "[T]he delicate layer of dusty air surrounding our planet reddens and redirects the light of the sun, filling the dark behind Earth with a sunset-red glow," according to NASA. As for the increased size, it's due to a not-fully-understood optical illusion called "the moon illusion," and not because the Mother of Pus has drawn earth close to her lair on the moon's dark side to better gather earth-children for slaves.

So, enjoy the enormous blood-red moon, with your telescope, or what have you! I will be in the basement cowering in the center of a pentagram.