Had a bad hump day? Well, you can still have a fun hump night! All you have to do join us in the comments as we live blog Top Chef! Tonight's episode features "restaurant wars"—and what, besides actual humping, could be more fun than that?
Here's all you have to do to turn you hump-day frown upside-down: Turn on the TV, tune it to the show (which airs on Bravo at 10 pm Eastern) and post a running commentary on the episode in the comments section below this post. And while you're at it, you may want to celebrate hump night by downing a few Camel Humps, which are shots of butterscotch schnapps mixed with Baileys. I'm sure that doesn't taste half as disgusting as it sounds!
Before we get down to the business of pumping up the hump-night fun, let me fill you in on a few of the highlights from our last live blog:
- Ty-Lör Boring's hirsute bod was the topic of many comments, thanks to the tastefully cropped nude photo of him that was used to illustrate last week's post, and the link provided to an NSFW version of the same picture. Commenter ghiagirl mused: "I'm wondering if the fur suit covering his body is what makes him seem so comfortable naked?"
- Commenter GonzoMaz suggested that Heather could return to Bravo some day if they created spinoff show called "Top Chef Assholes." We then discussed past-season chefs who could appear on such a program, and came up with a list that included Marcel Vigneron, Hosea Rosenberg and Mike "Jersey Douche" Isabella.
- Commenter GoOnWithoutMe marveled at Beverly's ability to dodge elimination after cooking two bad dishes, nearly setting fire to an RV and jizzing foam all over Padma Lakshmi. Will Bev have to poison somebody to finally get the boot?
- Fans of chef-prettiness were bummed by the ouster of "Malibu Chris" Crary. Capt.Snarky lamented: "You killed the hottie! You bastards!"
For those interested in reading other memorable comments from last week's live blog, this post contains a few of my favorites. And speaking of favorites, the "restaurant wars" we'll see tonight are a favorite of most Top Chef fans, since this type of challenge—featured once every season—tends to be packed with fuck-ups and drama. For the uninitiated, here's how it works: The chefs are split into two groups, each of which must work together to plan a menu, prepare all the dishes and get them served to the judges in a restaurant-style setting. Here are a few highlights from what I saw in the preview clips of tonight's episode:
- The teams will be divided "battle of the sexes" style—four male chefs vs. four female chefs—just so we can all draw our own sexist conclusions about each team's behavior and performance. Should be fun!
- Lindsay will swear like a drunken sailor in the kitchen. I just realized that we don't have a nickname for her yet—maybe we should call her "bleepy"?
- Both teams will fuck up royally and start yelling at each other, which is great, because such train-wreck situations are why we love "restaurant wars." Who will emerge from the train wreckage only to be thrown under the bus?
OK gang, it's time to head down to the comments section and get this hump-night party hopping! As Humpty Hump once said, "We're gonna flip and trip and let it all hang out tonight. We're gonna say what we like!" (Whatever happened to Humpty Hump?)