Mayor Bloomberg's having a bad week, between the virulently anti-Muslim video starring his police commissioner and the rape charges against his police commissioner's son. So look, Mayor Mike: if you want to quit, you can come work for us writing Gossip Girl recaps.
At least, I think you can. When I asked our editor-in-chief A.J. Daulerio if I could offer you a job, he said "Hahaha. I didn't even know the show was still on." So, you know, let's not get ahead of ourselves. You can definitely try out as our Gossip Girl recapper, no guarantees. But I like your chances, and as The Village Voice demonstrates, you've clearly got the knowledge:
The mayor, the jokester that he is, couldn't resist opining on some of the plot's developments (a light moment in what became a rather serious press conference later): "I just don't see how Blair could marry Prince Louis when she's clearly in love with Chuck," he said. "I just wish that Nate and Vanessa had been able to work things out... But again I'm just a casual fan."
As you've probably heard, during one of your many briefings on "what's going on at Gawker," we're undergoing a "molting period". Part of this means overhauling our television coverage — and I think you might be the guy for this job. Definitely you'd be better at it than being mayor, and you wouldn't have to deal with Ray Kelly anymore.
Why take us up on this? Well, the Gawker offices have a pancake machine. And I can't reveal your starting salary, but let's just say you definitely won't starve. Probably. You probably won't starve. And let me tell you — the babes. Not that you get them, per se. Just that, they're out there. At bars, probably.
[image via AP]