This morning actress Debi Mazar (who also happens to be my number one fan) found a crazy sight on the front stoop of her house in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A. There was a homeless person passed out on the welcome mat. Debi took it in stride, until he started jerking off.
"I was having a heating guy come in to check the heat in my house. He rang the front door bell, which we don't usually use, and when I opened the front door, there was a man sleeping there," she said. "My children, thank God, were off to school. I closed the door and thought, 'What should I do?' I said I'd deal with him and sent my husband off with the heating guy. I had just made a fresh pot of coffee. I got a paper cup and poured some coffee and I put some sugar and milk in it and said, 'You have to get up. You want some coffee?'"
What a nice gesture, but it appeared he didn't want any coffee. "He said, 'I have enough stress in my life. I don't need coffee.' I closed the door put the coffee down. I opened the door again to see if he left and he was standing there jerking off. And I was like, 'You have to put that away. You have to go. I have kids in the house. You can't do this.' I called LAPD. They came and said they arrest him in the neighborhood all the time and he had a warrant out because he was jerking off on an old lady's porch the other day. I said I didn't want to press charges."
It has to be totally nasty seeing a homeless guy working his junk in your front yard, but Debi says she didn't see anything too gross. "I didn't see his penis, but I saw him playing with it, and he wasn't pissing or anything." She adds that he was about 6'3, and probably in his early 30s, and seemed to be wearing clean clothes and shoes. Debi says that she works with the homeless at the Midnight Mission in L.A. and tried to be compassionate, until the guy got dirty. "In New York they're in your face all the time, here you don't expedt them to be on your front door."
Debi wasn't too affected by the situation, saying it was worse for the man who got arrested than her. Having discussed every facet of a small situation, it was time to go. "I have to go make sure there's nothing to clean up," she said.
[Image of Debi Mazar via Getty]