As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Testament's Alex Skolnick and Lamb of God's Randy Blythe.
Alex Skolnick, guitarist for classic California thrash metal band Testament, writes to us that he's endorsing Barack Obama:
I endorse Barack Obama. Perfect? No. But after inheriting the remnants of the Bush Administration — which was responsible for an illegal, trillion dollar war and a gutted economy — Obama has kept the auto industry alive, worked to improve the middle class and improve education. Now, after several years with an uncooperative congress, his policies are finally taking hold and things are improving (and incidentally, he's helped take out the most wanted terrorists). I'm not tied to the Democratic party in any way, its just an honest assessment. After 8 years of a President (GWB) who could barely formulate a sentence, we now have someone well-spoken, intelligent and who has shown a lot of class and dignity. And in the face of unrelenting, unwarranted personal attacks unseen in the history of the US Presidency, Obama has never once stooped down to the level of his haters.
We need a hard-boiled, no-nonsense, mean son-of-a-bitch with a bad reputation who ain't afraid to cock-whip the shit out of some randomly selected pussy-ass billionaire on live tv during his annual State of the Union Address just to make a point and let the mega-rich know that NO ONE is above the law here in the land of the free and the home of the brave. In short, we need a man who just DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK.
America, that man is me.
Thats right, ME. David Randall Blythe. Ol' D. Randall. Uncle Randy. Wassisname, that dude from that one band that got drunk and fought in a skirt. I love the USA like a nerd loves D&D, I am thoroughly disgusted with the state of affairs, and I am ready, willing, and able to FUCK SHIT UP without a micro-second's hesitation in order to fix what ails this country. All you have to do is elect me as the next President of the United States of America and I'll handle the rest.
[illustration by Jim Cooke. Are you the publicist, manager, or close personal friend of a noteworthy American metal musician? Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org! We will let you endorse anyone: Republicans, Democrats, Egyptian gods, mountains in the Pacific Northwest, etc.]