GLAAD points out that AMC's new Small Town Security is the only reality show that is currently featuring a trans man in its cast. That's great. "Lieutenant" Dennis Croft's portrayal is sensitive (at least it was in last night's series premiere) and allows him to articulate his transitioning, his gender identity, his lack of choice in the matter and all of those other things that deserve mentioning and repeating. It's an uncharacteristically even-handed move for the genre.

Dennis' boss, then, bears the entire brunt of the freak-show responsibility and, boy, is she game. Joan Koplan runs the security service the show profiles and here are all the awesome things about her:

  • She appeared in the 1969 Spanish Tarzan rip-off, Zan, King of the Jungle (written by Cannibal Ferox's Umberto Lenzi).
  • She says she was approached for "the part of the lesbian" in Myra Breckinridge, though there is no lesbian character in that movie. There was, however, a lesbian love scene featuring Raquel Welch and Farrah Fawcett. So basically, Joan Koplan was almost Farrah Fawcett.
  • She released a few 7"s in the '60s under the name Tiger Joanie Scott.
  • She got kicked off her public access show for inappropriate language. Says Joan, "I would have a gynecologist on and I was not allowed to say the word ‘vagina,' when that's what they do, is they work on vaginas."
  • Another great joke, to the prude woman who's in charge of the local public access programming, censors Joan and owns five Shih Tzus: "What if you met a dog and you fell in love with it but it was called a penis-zu?"
  • She refers to the porn magazines she reads as "fuck books."
  • She refers to her dog's humping as "masturbation," which it very well might be, but still.
  • She has lipstick on her teeth.
  • Her approach to eye make-up is at Winehouseian.
  • Her eyebrows are divine/Divine's.

At one point in the premiere, Joan explains, "I've always had a quest for attention." Well, Joan, here's your reward. Use it wisely.