When NYPD officer Gilberto Valle's wife left him in September, he did what a lot of people would do: create profile on OK Cupid. The big difference is that Valle didn't just want to date women — he also allegedly wanted to kidnap, kill, and eat, them, too.
Valle was arrested by the FBI yesterday and charged with a conspiracy to kidnap and cook several different women. A six-year veteran of the NYPD, Valle had apparently spent weeks planning his crimes online in a series of very scary instant-message conversations, in which he and an unnamed co-conspirator discussed fitting a potential victim in an oven, and speculated on the amount of meat on her body. His wife uncovered the digital trail, causing her to leave; she then tipped off the feds.
But as unbearably creepy as his online conversations were — "I was thinking of tying her body onto some kind of apparatus .. cook her over a low heat, keep her alive as long as possible" — Valle's OK Cupid profile, uncovered by Gothamist and DNAInfo, was the model of goofy normality. Here's the first part of the about me:
Valle writes that he's good at "telling corny jokes [and] finding the humor in most situations." His list of "things he could never do without: "Food, Water, Clothing, Shelter, Money, and Doctors." Arguably the highlight, though, is his description of his favorite book:
It's unclear whether or not any of Valle's projected victims were women he met on OK Cupid. Just remember: it's never the obviously creepy ones. It's the guys who spend a paragraph describing the plot of Green Eggs & Ham.