Please send help to the Rihanna Plane — it's apparently threatening to turn into "Lord of the Flies." The plane — which, as you may recall, is a Boeing 777 carrying hundreds of journalists, fans, contest winners, Rihanna handlers and Rihanna herself on a seven-day, seven-country promotional tour — is in Berlin today, but hit Paris yesterday as sleep-deprived and starving journalists threatened to turn on each other. Granted, some Australian guy on the plane was playing a harmonica, which is internationally recognized as grounds for justified homicide. It hasn't helped matters that the plane has been plagued by travel issues and a conspicuous lack of RiRi, whose heavenly scent is no longer keeping the journos sedated. Words being thrown around include "defeated," "restless," "mutiny" and "survival mode."

Billboard's Erika Ramirez and Idolator's Robbie Daw both report having just randomly fallen asleep — Ramirez during breakfast and Daw while the group was being transported to their Parisian hotel. SPIN's Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, meanwhile, doesn't remember her life pre-Rihanna Plane, which on the bright side means she's forgotten the Hipster Keffiyeh Era.

The other big issue is that it seems like the #777Tour is less about getting a glimpse into Rihanna's touring life as it is getting people to just tweet and write about Rihanna all the time (unfurl the "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner). Ramirez says that the rest of the plane hasn't seen Rihanna off-stage since the first day and that fans (aka "The Navy") are openly complaining to RiRi's manager about feeling "unappreciated."

It's also of course much easier to stomach this level of fatigue when you're a pop star banking roughly $30 million a year. If not, your mindset becomes... this:

Throughout the #777Tour, will be bringing you updates about the status, location, activities and smells of the Rihanna Plane and its inhabitants, cobbled together from the distorted dispatches of the embedded Rihanna correspondents.