Jordan is a 9-year-old self-described "tomboy on the inside and a pageant girl on the outside," but she's also a bunch earthworms on the inside, thanks to her tendency to eat them, as we see in this clip from Wednesday's upcoming Toddlers & Tiaras. Her mother copes with her loneliness by enrolling Jordan in pageants, Jordan copes with the pageants by eating worms and the worms get their revenge by regenerating and eating her from the inside out. She's never won a major title and it's clear that she never will because she is decomposing before our eyes. Circle of life.