After Rahmell Pettway spent several weeks away from home without telling his girlfriend where he was, the 36-year-old probably knew he was in trouble. So Pettway, whom the NYPD describe as a career criminal, came up with a plan: he would fake his own kidnapping as an excuse. Brilliant idea? Eh, not so much.

Police found Pettway between two cars in Harlem, apparently looking like he'd been beaten, with his mouth, hands and feet duct taped together. After initially telling police he couldn't remember what happened, he then said he'd been kidnapped in Brooklyn by two men driving a light blue mini-van. The storty might have worked if Pettway had remembered to cut the duct tape roll from his wrist, but either he forgot or wasn't able to. The NYPD became suspicious and Pettway later confessed to his scheme.

"He's a total moron," said one law-enforcement source told the New York Post. "It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes."

Pettway was arrested and charged with filing a false report. No word on his girlfriend's reaction.

[New York Post, CBS New York/Image via Shutterstock]