Maryland Rep. Andy Harris—apparently taking a break from his usual efforts to undo the will of voters he doesn't even represent—continued his reign of awfulness last week when he spent the afternoon creepily winking at his mom on CSPAN.

Harris—a Tea Party republican whose legacy is mostly derived from being wrong about things—inspired much speculation about the object of his beady little eye when he deliberately positioned himself behind the speaker and began winking and smiling at the camera last Tuesday.

But his communications director assures reporters he's not nearly that cool, explaining that he only has eyes for his mama.

"His mother watches for him on C-SPAN and gets a kick out of seeing him on TV," spokesperson Shelby Hodgkins said.

Contact the author at