A French monkey went on a week-long chocolat bender in Marseilles last week, terrorizing school children and eluding inspectors in the best animal crime to hit France since the Pink Panther.
Authorities think the petit brat was raised illegally and then abandoned in the city as an adult. He apparently subsisted solely on Kinder chocolate bars, a burgeoning addiction that landed him on the wrong end of a taser when citizens reported the enfant terrible had been biting and scratching children outside their school.
Local police described their week tracking the sneaky, furry baby.
Police were finally able to capture the sugar fiend when they managed to taser him into submission.
— DzDon'tPanik (@BadisDz213) December 17, 2014
He'll be sent to a local zoo to dry out, officials say.