Yoga apparel purveyor Lululemon has recalled more than 300,000 elastic drawstrings in its hoodies and jackets after the strings kept snapping back and flinging their plastic or metal tips into women’s faces. Women walking around in death traps and they don’t even know it! There have been seven reported victims of the hoodie attacks so far. Lululemon assures the public their injuries were “not serious” (but maybe stop wearing these totally safe and comfy hoodies anyway).
If you’ve got one of the face-snapping hoodies, manufactured between 2008 and 2014, Lululemon will take it back and give you a new one with a less dangerous drawstring at no extra charge. Just kidding! They’re only recalling the cords, not the hoodies themselves. They’ll mail you a new string and let you sort it out. (Sorry about your face, by the way.)
This disaster is still going a lot more smoothly than the company’s previous recall, after 2013’s see-through yoga pants disaster. Even after the company acknowledged the problem, creepy, Ayn Rand-obsessed founder Chip Wilson tried to blame the defective pants on his customers, saying “Quite frankly, some women’s bodies just actually don’t work for it. It’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there.”