Oh man, this changes everything! Just kidding.

What you are looking at above is the cover of a special edition of the National Review magazine, which includes a 21-person symposium on why Donald Trump is not a true conservative, published online this evening. It does not include an accounting of how American conservatism may have created the material, political, and ideological conditions necessary to not only produce a figure like Trump but for him to find success—but then again, why would it? LOL.

“The case for constitutional limited government is the case against Donald Trump,” writes Ben Domenech, publisher of the Federalist.

“To the degree we take him at his word—understanding that Trump is a negotiator whose positions are often purposefully deceptive—what he advocates is a rejection of our Madisonian inheritance and an embrace of Barack Obama’s authoritarianism.” Hahahahah, oh god make it stop.

“In a country with more than 300 million people, it is remarkable how obsessed the media have become with just one—Donald Trump,” writes Thomas Sowell, a senior fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution, apparently without irony.

Erick Erickson, sentient Twitter egg and talk-show host, quotes Scripture: “‘If anyone aspires to the office of overseer...he must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil’ (1 Timothy 3:1,6). I think this is also true of political leaders, including those within the conservative movement.” Okay man.

Anyway, good luck with all that! We hope your thoughtfulness and lucidity sways many Trump supporters to support...Ted Cruz, instead.

Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.