[There was a video here]

"Have you ever held a heart?" Dr. Oz asked Barbra Streisand seemingly out of nowhere, the way a friend might ask another friend, "What sound or noise do you love?" or "What's your favorite scary movie?"

"N0, but I'd like to," replied Barbra with a devilish smile that suggested the beating of a human heart is a sound or noise that she loves, and that My Bloody Valentine is her favorite scary movie.

"You'd like to?!" Dr. Oz barked back at her. He was just kidding when he asked that. She wants to take him up on his offer? What the fuck is wrong with her? Is there something wrong with her? Also...he didn't quite catch her answer. His hearing has been failing him these days with more frequency than he'd ever admit.

Barbra's eyes flashed and she responded with a firm, "Yes." Actually, she would like to hold a heart, thank you very much. Why earlier this year, her mind started wandering in the general direction of heart-holding while she received a massage (she was spa-ing in Europe at the time, naturally). Could a rough massage cause one's organs to bruise? Can organs bruise? Assuming that they can, how long does it take for bruised organs to heal? Are internal bruises like those on your skin in that they are sensitive to the touch? What is it like to touch an organ? An internal one, she meant, stop being fresh.

Dr. Oz gave her a heart, and then another. The latter was unhealthy. It looked like a congealed pile of puke, but Barbra handled it politely. They had a discussion about Streisand's work in raising awareness for heart disease, specifically in and for women. At the end of the segment, she daintily pulled off the purple surgical gloves she'd used to handle the hearts, exposing her perpetually flawless nails. They were like butter—a magical butter that has no effect on one's heart health.

This clip, especially the first few seconds, is the weirdest shit I've seen on TV in quite some time.