Today Johnny Depp released his most innovative and daring performance in years: An apology to the country of Australia.
The harrowing recording, which also features Depp’s wife, Amber Heard, premiered this morning in an Australian court, where Heard pleaded guilty to providing false information about how many dogs she had smuggled into the country. She was ultimately sentenced to one month of good behavior—sure.
In the video, Depp plays the role of an unwell man. Heard plays the role of his hostage.
“Australia is a wonderful island with a treasure trove of unique plants, animals and people,” Heard says.
“It has to be protected,” growls Depp.
“Australia is free of many pests and diseases that are commonplace around the world. That is why Australia has to have such strong biosecurity laws,” Heard says.
“And Australians are just as unique—both warm and direct,” Depp responds, switching accents, I guess to really drive home the point. “When you disrespect Australian law, they will tell you firmly.”
“I am truly sorry that Pistol and Boo were not declared,” Heard says, over my loud cries.
“Protecting Australia is important,” Depp says. “Declare everything when you enter Australia.”
His best performance in years.