Lost in the sea of “low-value dry dick randos” is a less-discussed dick identity and sexual practice, Small Penis Humiliation (SPH). Aficionados exercise their fetish online on Tumblrs, forums and Reddit, through webcams and chat programs, as well as in person.
A woman who goes by “The Goddess Jennifer” runs the Tumblr showyourtinydick.com. She receives upwards of 100 tiny dick photos a day (many of them images of men turtling their penises inside 3” toilet paper rolls). Goddess Jennifer categorizes men who are into SPH as “extremely funny and creative people,” but adds: “Then again, they do have tiny dicks so they kinda need to have that.”
I emailed four men from Reddit who get off on their penises being humiliated for more information about the SPH fetish. The names that the four men supplied are pseudonyms. Warning: Dick picks follow.
Can you tell me a little about yourself and your basic relationship to small penis humiliation?
MARC: I’m married to a woman. We have kids. I’m a professional guy, work in a corporate environment doing corporate things. Sexually, I’m straight-identifying, but have had bisexual experiences. I’d consider myself somewhere between a 2 and a 3 on the Kinsey scale. I’m generally more attracted to women than to men. I have had a handful of male-male sexual experiences. I tend to be more attracted to dicks than to the men they are attached to. SPH is probably the easiest way for me to get off.
NEWLYWEDS: I’m 26 years old, married. Master’s in history, trying to find work teaching — I’m doing related work now, but not teaching. I’m straight, but part of the SPH fetish (at least in my experience) revolves around the adoration or appreciation of large penises. So I probably look at more dicks in my porn than most straight males, but to date I’ve never engaged in a sexual act with a man. My wife is aware of this and other fetishes, but I’ll get to that later on.
With SPH, like with any fetish, there isn’t one clearly defined experience, or sequence of events, or even desires. It’s a very wide net that includes cuckolding, CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male), BDSM, humiliation, pet play, ageplay, and so many others. Wherever there is a fetish that degrades or humiliates men, SPH can play a part—after all, how better to insult or tear down a guy than to insult his literal manhood?
COWBOY JIM: I’m in my thirties and live in Northern California. I’m straight and in a long term relationship of over 10 years. I never owed a big truck/sports car, hate guns and (at least I hope) seem like a normal guy with a nice healthy cock. No issues. This used to confuse women when I was younger and dating. I was so afraid of them. I wish I could have told them. I guess that’s shitty. They probably think I didn’t like them because of how they looked or something they said, when in fact I was so afraid of being rejected and ridiculed. I guess I sexualized this fear. I wish I could tell the women I rejected (it’s not like there was a lot, but still) that it was me. Is it arrogant to wonder if it still bothers them?
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: I’m a family man, other than work, cars, and kids I don’t get to indulge in much else. I suppose this fetish and release of control to my wife is my way of escaping the masculine duties of being a type-A personality in the workplace.
How big is your dick?
MARC: I’m 4.5 long x 3.5 around hard, about 1.5 soft, circumcised high and tight, very little excess skin.
NEWLYWEDS: My dick is 3.5” long erect, with a 3.2” circumference. When soft, most of the time I’m inside myself. Maybe .25-.5 inches, and probably .75 inches circumference at times.
Newlyweds’s flaccid penis
Newlyweds’s erect penis
COWBOY JIM: I’m about an acorn or the previously mentioned square iPod shuffle soft and about 4.5 hard. Never measured girth, but I am on the thin side.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: 4.5” length 1.8-2” diameter.
Smallsoutherndick’s erect penis
Why do you enjoy your penis being humiliated?
MARC: I love the submissive aspect of it. I love thinking that my dick is useless for fucking. Typing it out, it really seems hard to believe, but it is a huge turn on for me.
NEWLYWEDS: There’s the magic question. I have no idea why. It’s just a part of my sexual identity. It’s not all-encompassing, just a part of it.
COWBOY JIM: There is NOTHING like the way it makes me cum. It’s perfect and honest and I feel like total garbage the second it’s over. It feels so unhealthy and I can’t get over it. I feel my heart sink when whatever is still on my computer is playing or I read a messenger conversation.
When did you realize you had a small dick? What was that like?
MARC: I first realized the difference in dick size before puberty. My dad used to take my older brother and I to play racquetball, and afterwards we would shower in the communal shower. I always felt awkward being naked with other guys, but my dad didn’t care, so I tried not to care. When my brother hit puberty, his dick grew quickly, getting noticeably longer and thicker when soft. I was left sidelined with my little pink dick. I was a bit late to start puberty compared to my brother (which I didn’t really mind, because I didn’t care for hair), but when I did, my dick never developed like my brother’s or my dad’s.
My dad is roughly the same size soft that I am hard. It was terribly embarrassing for me to be so small. I avoided being naked in front of other guys when I was in high school, specifically avoiding sports where I knew I would have to shower in the communal showers. I always hid my dick when I had to change and only would shower at the gym if I had a private stall. Sometime around being 23 or 24 years old, I started to have a different outlook. I was working out at a gym that only had communal showers, and told myself, fuck it, time to embrace it.
At first, I would fluff my dick before I got in the shower so I wouldn’t look so tiny. There were a few close calls of almost being fully erect, so I decided to ease out of that. I distinctly remember going to shower one day after working out. There was maybe one older guy showering, and I remember him doing a double take and then staring at me while I showered with my little dick on display. It was simultaneously humiliating, exciting, and liberating.
NEWLYWEDS: I first realized I had a small dick about 7th grade. Once you got to 7th grade at my school, you could play football. We changed into PE clothes starting in 6th grade, but we didn’t shower. The first time I was in a room of naked males was 7th grade, and it wasn’t difficult to see that I didn’t fit in.
COWBOY JIM: 11 or so. I kept waiting for if to grow so I would be normal and it never did. My stepfather used to make jokes about it and so did some of my friends. Locker room stuff I guess. Nothing Penn State horrible happened other than the guy who your mother left your father for is now making fun of your dick.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: Growing up I always knew I wasn’t huge by any means, especially when a friend and me fooled around. He was almost 9 inches and almost too thick to put in my mouth (that was also my first bi-sexual encounter). But the size difference didn’t bother me at that point, his cock seemed so much more fun to grip and play with than mine. But he enjoyed doing the same with my small one as well so it seemed to be a mutual fascination.
How long did it take you to get into small penis humiliation?
MARC: Becoming comfortable with small penis humiliation has been a process for me that has taken years to develop. For me, small penis humiliation fits in a larger scheme of dominance/submission. As I became sexually active, I was embarrassed about the size of my penis. I had a handful of times where I couldn’t get erect because of nervousness. I also had a few times where condoms slipped off while I was hard. I’ve always lacked confidence in my sexual abilities and have worried that I am unable to please my partner, primarily because of my small penis. The lack of confidence was a weight that I had to bear. When I was young (18 to 25ish), my size was a burden and I had no interest in SPH. In fact, it would have made me shut down emotionally to be teased about my size by a sexual partner.
As I got older, I started to accept my penis size, and grew more comfortable with my body. I also explored more diverse porn, which I have a huge appetite for. I came across cuckolding and hot wives, where the woman seeks men other than her husband to keep her satisfied. Something about cuckolding and hot wives really struck me. A lot of the themes of cuckolding revolve around hung bulls fucking wives who have small husbands. (There is also a lot of “big black cock,” which doesn’t appeal to me, but whatever).
Most husbands in cuckold scenes are submissive to their wives’ desires, including being submissive to bigger dicks. I found that I deeply identified with the submissive aspect of cuckolding. As I became more comfortable with being sexually submissive, I started to accept that my small penis made sense within that framework. Only then did I become comfortable with myself enough to be turned on by small penis humiliation. It took me years to get to that point, though. It took me years to be able to honestly talk with my wife about my penis size and how it fit into my sexual fantasies.
NEWLYWEDS: When I was in 11th grade, I was convinced by about 5-10 girls to flash my penis. We were in P.E., and they were sitting on the bleachers in the gym waiting for the bell to ring, and I was underneath them. They convinced (I should say “convinced,” seeing as it wasn’t difficult) me to flash them—one was even nice enough to let me see up her skirt so I could get hard. When I did, they all shouted/screamed/laughed, and I was genuinely surprised. Though I knew I was smaller than most guys soft, I had never been erect around guys, so I had no basis of comparison. I was surprised, and asked them (pants still around my ankles) if I really was small, and the ones who answered assured me I was.
It took a good deal of time to realize that the actual size humiliation was what was appealing. I knew I enjoyed humiliation, and after I sort of honed in on where it came from, it was easier to explore the fetish and see what I really liked. I knew I was small, and knew I enjoyed humiliation from exploring porn online, and one day I saw the SPH hashtag on a post and clicked it, and it all opened up.
COWBOY JIM: I first got into SPH back in the early 2000’s. There wasn’t a name for it then, so I made plenty of dignifying Google searches for stuff like “women laughing at small dicks” or “boyfriend’s penis is too small.” I would stumble on these message boards for sex columns or women’s magazines and go to town reading some of the comments by unhappy wives venting. Eventually I found the Visual Sensations for Women website and saw a few posts about SPH on the forum... and I was hooked.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: I knew I was small from early on, but I had plenty of girlfriends, and even just fuck buddies with never any complaints or talking behind my back. But it wasn’t until after me and a long-term GF split up and she had been fucking this insanely hung guy that was so thick a magnum would break on him that it struck.
She had met me at a car meet, and we ended up parking and chatting up old times when things got hot and she had told me about how big he was during our chat (I was wet just hearing about it, it was a unique rush). When she climbed on top and I could barely feel her loose pussy still wet from him, I was so turned on, I asked her again how big he was, asked her if she could feel me. She was hesitant to answer at first but giggled and said no, that she was still so open from him. I exploded minutes later and that planted the seed for me, but it laid dormant for three or four years until I met my wife.
We had been together over a year and one day when after a light argument I made a reference to sucking my dick and she said, “I can’t find enough to suck.” I was enraged and turned on all at once, I inquired about it she denied that it was true, she was just getting back at me, etc. Then she finally came clean later that evening. Told me that I wasn’t the smallest she had ever been with, but I certainly wasn’t the biggest and it would be fun at times if I was larger. It grew from there, it took a long time of me convincing her that it was OK to tell me I was small and to be honest. But once she realized how much it turned me on and how she had that control of my cock she ran with it =)
What words do you like to use to describe your dick or small penis humiliation in general?
MARC: I really like “boy dick” or “little dick.” I love it when my penis is thought of as being useless for my partner’s needs.
NEWLYWEDS: As far as jargon, really most of it for me is clinical. Micropenis… shaft, erect, flaccid… no real cutesy phrases… I guess I’m boring in that way.
COWBOY JIM: CFM: Clothed Female Naked Male. JOI: Jack off Instruction. LPSG: Large Penis Support Group (a website). Cuckold (I am sure you are familiar with this one): I can get down with some of this, usually the faces the women make in the comparison clips push me over the edge. I also like the idea of being selected against, but I find a LOT of these videos/stories have a racial vibe that I don’t get or find sexually appealing.
How does small penis humiliation fit into your relationship with your partner or partners?
MARC: Currently, my wife is the only person in real life that humiliates me because of my penis. I’ve chatted and cammed online with guys, and have really enjoyed being humiliated by them. My wife does it in regular life, and doesn’t even realize it. One day I wore a clingy swim suit to the pool, and my wife told me that I needed to wear a speedo underneath it because it was “sucked onto your little bump and I could see everything.”
Before I told my wife about my interest in SPH (and before I was really comfortable with it myself) my wife did or said things that I found terribly embarrassing. One day I shaved all of my pubes off. I was standing in the bathroom naked, flaccid, getting ready for work. My wife came up, picked up my penis with her thumb and index finger and laughed, then told me that I looked like I a little boy. Other times, when we were fucking, my wife would ask if I was hard because she couldn’t feel me inside of her, so she assumed I was soft. Or she would ask if I was inside of her when I was fully hard and as deep as I could get into her. At the time, I would be really upset about her saying or doing that, but then I would think about it more and it would turn me on.
Fast-forward to the present where I have opened up to my wife about my SPH fetish. She thinks it is a bit odd, but she understands that it is a fetish, and she enjoys seeing me have fun. A typical fuck session for us involves a lot of oral and fingering, and she tries to be as vocal as she can be about my “little dick.” She tells me how easy it is to suck my dick because it is so little; she has no trouble burying her nose into my pubic bone. When I’m going down on her, she’ll tell me that she’s so wet, she’s not going to be able to feel my little dick inside of her. All of it drives me crazy.
I also really enjoy when we play with dildos or vibrators that are bigger than me. I love seeing her writhe and hearing her moan, hear her talk about how big the toy is inside of her, how full it feels, how she can’t feel me inside of her when we fuck after playing with toys. My wife is not naturally dominant, and so we struggle with accomplishing some of the other submissive portions of my fetish. But it is little things too. My wife struggles to get off from penis-in-vagina intercourse with me. So our most frequent sex act is mutually masturbating each other. I love fucking, but I know it doesn’t do a lot for her, so I accept that when she needs to get off, I need to kiss her neck and finger her. It is a bit embarrassing that I am unable to pleasure her with, you know, my sexual anatomy.
NEWLYWEDS: My most regular partner would be my wife. Aside from the experiences I had before we were married, there haven’t been any other people (besides comments on Tumblr images) that have seen my penis. What my wife and I did when we got married was we set up a Tumblr account, shared the login info with each other, and searched for porn/fetish blogs to follow, and pictures and videos to like. As time moved on, we began scheduling “Tumblr nights,” where we would grab some wine or whiskey, and go through our blog together and see what the other person liked. It turned out to be way easier than sitting down and saying “I like being tied to the bed and made to wet myself while you sit on my face.”
After we started accepting what the other person was into, we began trying out each other’s fetishes, and working them into our sex life. Besides SPH, I’m also into cuckolding, orgasm denial, chastity, CFNM, and ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover). I can definitely get off without SPH. It’s just like icing on the cake when it happens in a genuine way! A satisfying experience could honestly either end with my penis being shown and normal sexual acts happening, or a shocked reaction then normal sexual acts happening, or a shocked reaction and getting rejected.
I would say that all three have happened to me, and while most SPH porn depicts the “outright rejection” as the end-all, be-all, being able to get off in the situation certainly doesn’t hurt. (To me) a satisfying experience is getting a woman’s honest reaction to my penis. It’s always kind of a let down or kind a mood killer when you can tell she’s faking about you being small. However, if she’s doing what most women would do and is lying to protect my feelings and assure me it’s average or big, I appreciate her trying to protect my feelings, and no harm done. It’s sweet.
COWBOY JIM: There is this awesome girl I chat with from time to time who gets it. Most of the humiliation is situational. I guess an example of that would be some role play that involves her and I going to the adult store to get some condoms with another guy. The idea is that we are going to have a MFM (male-female-male threesome) and she makes a point to let the checker know all three of us are together and that she will be buying he Magnums for him and I am buying the snugger fit for myself. Sounds dumb when I break it down, and shit it probably is.
The most satisfying experiences have all been over messenger/cam with the right person. Their reaction to it needs to feel real. Usually genuine curiosity will lead to them being straight forward or talk about past lovers (bigger or smaller). I never press, but if asked I’ll send a pic of it and some are delightfully straightforward. I don’t have many chat friends, but those I do chat with know me and get it. Way more satisfying than having some stranger scream at you.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: My wife and I have a strange blend between cuckolding and SPH. We spent some time separated and during that time she had a couple of very large lovers, and she began to give me the naughty details, send me photos of their cocks, telling me how much bigger they were than me, etc... It slowly graduated to us meeting up after she had met up with one of her big dick guys. I would clean her pussy up and she would make fun of my small cock while she jerked me off and so on.
Now that we are back into our married phase, she will do dirty things to get me hot and bothered. As an example, her and her sister in-law were chatting about sex and she told her I had a 4” cock and sent me the screenshot of the conversation. Obviously I was soaking wet, and she used that in role play several times while milking my dick “how her next time at a family gathering she will look at me and know I’ve got a pathetic tiny cock” type chatter.
The only real person we know personally that she has told about my tiny dick is her sister-in-law and she had no clue she was being used for our pleasure, she just assumed they were sharing a chat about penis size. I can cum without any SPH, but it certainly does amplify things for me. My wife and I generally always mix something SPH into our sex, unless we hit a plateau and need a break. We recently took about 3 months away from anything SPH and then I reintroduced it right as I was sliding into her and she actually came from my cock just from the rush of that.
MARC: Although it seems a bit coarse to me to compare my size to a toilet paper roll, I have done it before. It is crazy for me to see these big guys who are spilling out of it, because I barely fill it when hard.
NEWLYWEDS: I have totally done the showyourtinydick toilet paper roll test! I failed. …or passed. It’s hard to tell which is which, depending on your desired outcome. The whole roll slipped over and covered up my penis. I’m smaller than a paper towel roll. As far as other objects, I’ve been told I compare to a bic lighter… So there’s that.
COWBOY JIM: Nope. Never did the TP test. Knew I would fail and for some reason it kind of grosses me out, but I guess I would get over that if the right person was asking. (For the record I debated about putting a smiley face here.)
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: I can slide all the way into a TP roll and just have the slightest bit on the other side.
Smallsoutherndick’s toilet paper roll test from above
Smallsoutherndick’s toilet paper roll test
What kind of SPH community is there? Do you go to offline meetups?
MARC: I think a lot of the online SPH community surrounds cuckolding. There are a few places where I chat: measurection.com is a small-penis-positive site, but there are a few guys who are into SPH; lpsg.com is (was) primarily directed to large penises, but it can be a good place for SPH; dick.net; various gay dating/chat sites. I know measurection.com has real-life meet ups, but I haven’t attended one; I would like to.
It is difficult to find dominant women who are interested in SPH. I also think that most women think the focus on penis size is overblown. So I almost always end up chatting with other men. It is usually pretty easy to find an older gay chat partner who is dominant or is interested in daddy/boy-large dick/small dick chat (silverdaddies.com). I should say that my taste in men runs to the older side. I’m sure it is part of the larger kink community (like fetlife.com) but I don’t have any experience with that.
NEWLYWEDS: I’m pretty involved online. I’m not in many “communities,” although there are some out there, and don’t do meetups (although now I’m wondering what that would be like…). But I do run a tumblr blog—newlywedsfetishes.tumblr.com—that has SPH content thrown in there.
COWBOY JIM: SPH communities are awful. It’s 30 guys arguing about who’s dick is smaller and who has it worse and if a female happens to come out of the woodwork she gets bombarded with dick pics and god knows what else. I really can’t see a SPH community getting together and flying a kite. I have tried to get involved in the past and it goes down hill pretty quick. Check out the /r/smalldickproblems sometime if you hate life. It’s a nightmare.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: We are involved online, mainly to fuel our sex life a little more. She will hunt down some large cock guys from r/massivecock to KIK with and then we will have nasty sex fantasizing about the conversation she shared with them. We do post some SPH stuff as well, she will post some pictures or videos looking for other girls to humiliate me (that is a turn on for her—watching other girls laugh at my cock like she does). But we also do non-SPH stuff as well, she enjoys seeing me chat with girls and shares my other fetishes too (like large toys, fisting, pegging and so on). We have yet to have any real encounters, we have done some Craigslist ads and chatted a few other couples and singles up but still waiting to take the plunge to the next level.
If somebody in daily life (say, at work) were to make a joke or insult about a guy with a small penis how would you react?
MARC: If a guy friend made a joke at work, I would probably roll my eyes and fume silently. Having a small penis is something that I have the burden of dealing with all the time. I’m still shy about being naked in front of friends. If a girl friend made a joke about it, I would probably try to be cool, but it would turn me on sexually. I can’t remember it ever happening, though. I get turned on when girl friends talk about guys with big dicks or enjoying bigger dicks.
Hearing a woman talk about craving being with a hung guy is simultaneously a huge turn on for me, and incredibly emasculating. It has come up in conversation often, and I always end up hard and turned on. I completely get it. I’ve been with men, I’ve held big dicks. I love how they feel, so heavy, so powerful. I completely understand how big dicks can be intoxicating. I think that adds to my fetish for SPH, knowing that I am never going to be able to satisfy that craving.
NEWLYWEDS: Of course, this happens all of the time. In movies, TV shows, YouTube videos, and also in real life. There are entire websites dedicated to this happening in media. Whenever a female cracks a joke about someone being small, I (think I) play it off and laugh like everyone else. No blushing, I definitely don’t do anything to draw attention to myself. **No one think I have a small penis, I’m laughing like the rest of you** No, I keep my cool. However, I do get excited. Pulse quickens, I’d get excited, but I’d definitely be able to compartmentalize. …and definitely fantasize about it later.
COWBOY JIM: Compartmentalization is a big part of this. So I am sexualizing my fear of being inadequate and I am also living in a culture that recycles that damn JAWS “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” line every ten minutes. When I hear a dick joke and it’s actually funny I involuntary laugh. I don’t get hard or turn into Puny Pecker Hulk or something, I just laugh. If it’s dumb or mean I just figure that I am coming out ahead. I mean, it’s my turn to eat it. How many stupid jokes do the handicapped or someone with an foreign accent have to put up with? And there is no hiding skin color or gender, so I guess I got it pretty good. It’s not like everyone in the room knows.
SMALLSOUTHERNDICK: If someone makes a joke about a small cock or uses it to insult someone I’m right there with them, I’ve even done it several times. I don’t take any offense to it, nor do I find it as a turn on. I suppose it is just the macho mask most guys wear regardless of what they are packing in their pants. I will say that I’m pretty open to females about being tiny, but males are an entirely different story, I prefer to keep that secret to myself so that I can keep their respect.
Anything else you’d like to add?
MARC: The importance of dick size is something that has been hammered into me for a long time. I can think back to conversations I had when I was 13, 14 with girls where the importance of having a large dick was emphasized.
COWBOY JIM: I would like to add that this fetish fucks up the way some men see women. It took me years to see it and deal with it and I hope I can say this right, but viewing women as these sized-obsessed creatures does spill into “real life.” You start to resent people you barely know or give up before you make an effort to actually know someone. Real relationships are complex and take work. It would save a lot time if dating was just determined by a tape measure.
Johannah King-Slutzky is a blogger and essayist from New York City.
Top illustration by Jim Cooke. Dick pics via interview subjects.