A Macedonian man sliced off his own dick and and threw it away after his girlfriend broke up with him, citing dissatisfying sex. The man believed his small penis was to blame for the failed relationship, reports every site in the tabloidosphere.
Oliver Ilic, 22, reportedly removed the organ with one slice of a razor blade. Unable to stop the bleeding, he was forced to contact medics, who rushed him to a hospital in Kocani as blood began to soak through his jeans.
They found his dick and the razor blade in a trashcan at his house.
Although hopes for reattachment initially didn't look good–some sites reported yesterday that the hospital didn't have any doctors qualified to perform the surgery—Ilic was transferred to a different facility in Skopje, where he was surgically reunited with his poor little cock.
It's too early to tell if he'll regain full function—such as it was—in the organ.
Ilic's isn't the most tragic case of self-mutilation in Macedonia this year. According to European tabloid lore, a 40-year-old man recently cut off his penis, too, but reattachment was impossible: He had flushed it down the toilet.