I have, on at least one prior occasion, said that I hoped to one day die in a giant vat of cookie dough. A terrible story out of Houston, in which a 26-year-old man was found dead inside a giant industrial-sized fortune cookie mixer on Sunday, makes me feel like I should take it back.
Should you think that we are simply talking about a larger version of your standard countertop kitchen mixer, here, via the Houston Press, is what an industrial dough machine actually looks like:
The police are investigating, and foul play is not suspected. Hopefully someone has also called the Occupational Safety & Health Administration.
We ask that you be circumspect about any bad puns about the man's fortune you might be tempted to leave in the comments.