"We totally do, NPR. Shut up. We read all the time. We're reading your article right now!" Facebook commenters screeched.
But they didn't read the article. If they had, they would've seen this:
Eventually, some commenters began to catch on and spoil the joke, but the quickest to reply were those eager to defend their own reading habits or discuss America's intellectual downfall.
The real question isn't why we don't read anymore, it's why we comment—passionately and with the utmost confidence—after reading only a headline. (Hint: The answer is probably not "because we literally don't remember what books are" or, "because our elders aren't familiar with traditional Greek storytelling techniques.")