A sampling of headlines analyzing the results of last night’s Democratic caucus in Iowa:

Bernie Sanders should be the biggest story of the caucus because he won the party’s future, but the virtual tie still wasn’t enough, and he needs more, because it was better for Hillary Clinton, who must really hate Iowa, where the Democrats won, because it went wrong for her.

If you don’t consume any news between now and mid-November you will wake up one day and there will still be a new president and your life will probably be better for having done anything else.

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