Well, it's almost nine months past Valentine's Day, so it's no wonder we're having a bit of a Basic Baby Boom. This leaves the Baby Name Critic with so many terrible names to put through her spin cycle and so little time to eat dry cereal while watching Dating Naked. And the Baby Name critic needs her leisure time, or else she gets very grumpy.
Our latest baby-makers are Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen who, according to paparazzi photos, appear to go to the beach a lot. Do they have jobs? I don't know. Perhaps they are living off of the royalties of Shattered Glass, a fine film about ethics in gaming journalism. Bilson, 33, gave birth October 29 to a girl. The girl was given a name. (If you'll excuse me for just one second, I'm having trouble typing it because it is so bad. I am going to walk away from my computer and take three deep breaths and come back and see if I can type it.)
Okay I'm back. Bilson and Christensen named the child "Briar Rose."
Briar Rose is a Disney princess and also a star of a Grimm Brothers fairy tale written in 1812. In Sleeping Beauty, she protects another princess from a curse and then gets married, because that is the happiest ending to woman's life. Men think she is hot and they stare at her while she sleeps and talk about how hot she is.
This is a bad name for a woman. In this case it would have been better if Bilson and Christensen named their daughter Toilet Water, or Garbage Pail. Those names are stronger and more interesting than Briar Rose.
I suppose we should be grateful that they didn't name the baby Br'er Rabbit.
This has been Baby Name Critic.
[Photo via AP]