Gilmore Girls ended in May, 2007. Like any show that ends, its final episode set off an avalanche of hopeful rumors that we might one day see Lorelai, Rory, and the whole gang minus Dean sipping coffee and talk-talk-talking once again—this time on a screen as big as all Stars Hollow.
The main talking point in the clamor for a Gilmore Girls movie is that fans never got to see the ending that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino envisioned. Botched contract negotiations dislodged Sherman-Palladino and her writing partner husband, Dan Palladino, from the show in its final season, leaving our gals emoticon-shrugging under the pen of newly-minted showrunner David Rosenthal. In the end, Rory went off to follow Barack Obama's campaign as a Journalist, and Lorelai...something something. Married Jess? Pop-tarts Luke? I don't know. Coffee something? We could spend all day trying to remember how Lorelai's story ended, and I would love to (baby Sookie?), but—oy, with the poodles already!—ahahah—let's get to the point:
In a 2012 interview with Vulture, Amy Sherman-Palladino was asked if she might share the four words with which she'd planned to end the show—a famous piece of Gilmore Girls lore. She demurred, of course, while all but sealing the fate of an eventual big screen adaptation:
I was also holding on to it for a long time because I was thinking if we did do a movie, I would be able to use it there. I don't think that's ever going to happen so, I don't know.
Hah! Link us directly to Fandango, why don't you?
Now all that's left to do is secure a group of actors who can pick up right where our beloved characters left off. But who to cast? Bradley Cooper as Luke? Emma Stone as Rory? Benedict Cumberbatch as, I don't know, somebody? Kirk, I guess? Let's dive in and figure it all out.
Lorelai Gilmore: Lauren Graham?
Bringing Lauren Graham back to reprise her role as Lorelai Gilmore would effectively bridge the gap between the large and small screen adaptations of the Gilmore Girls story. She's been keeping her single mom muscle warm over at NBC's Parenthood, so slipping back into Lorelai shouldn't be too difficult. Plus, she nearly guaranteed her involvement in a recent reddit AMA, saying, "I honestly don't know [about a movie]. I appreciate how many have asked. That character was so special—I wonder what happens to her too!"
Rory Gilmore: Alexis Bledel?
There are a lot of young actresses out there right now—this I know—and you're probably wondering why I think Alexis Bledel should have the opportunity (for the second time in her career!) to take on the role of Rory Gilmore. It's simple, really: I think she's got what it takes. She's proven that already in Gilmore Girls (the TV show), and I'm sure if she gets the chance to inhabit the character in Gilmore Girls (the movie) she'll prove it all over again.
Emily Gilmore: Kelly Bishop?
Truly, who better to hop into Emily Gilmore's suit jacket and lay some big screen tough love on Lorelai than Kelly Bishop? Now, Emily wasn't always right in her criticism, to be sure, but her heart was often in the right place—and you can't fault her for that!
Richard Gilmore: Edward Herrmann?
I don't want this to seem like this was a thoughtless decision, as if I brought in one half of the elder Gilmores simply because I'd already brought in the other. Far from it! Truth be told, I had Edward Herrmann in mind for Richard Gilmore before I even settled on Kelly Bishop for Emily—he is simply the right actor for the job.
Luke Danes: Scott Patterson?
Now, this was a tough call. There are plenty of a little bit old male actors out there who would be perfect for the role of Luke Danes. Matt Damon, for one. John Corbett would actually be great. Then there's Ben Affleck, Christopher Meloni, Bruce Willis, David Duchovny, Edward Norton, and even Johnny Depp (!). But, hear me out: there's something about Scott Patterson that feels uniquely suited for this particular role. Let's put it this way: I can clearly picture Luke's iconic cap on Patterson's head. (I realize I might be in the minority here, and that's OK!)
Lane Kim: Keiko Agena?
I think it would be a cute wink to the fans of the show to include Keiko Agena in the film in her original role. ("Is that...? It is!") Sort of like in superhero movies when they include someone who played that superhero in another movie. Except here she is the same character in both. ;)
Michel Gerard: Yanic Truesdale?
Yanic is actually from Montreal!
Sookie St. James: Melissa McCarthy?
I know what you're thinking and, believe me, I get it: "Sookie St. James" is not a typical "Melissa McCarthy"-style character. But—and it pains me to say this!—the Gilmore Girls movie is going to need a push. Even with an intense fan base like Gilmore Girls has, there are going to be naysayers who need convincing that this isn't a simple cash-grab resuscitation of a dead brand. McCarthy's involvement could prove the project's legitimacy and take it from the world of TV Movies into the land of Classic Films.
Kirk Gleason: Sean Gunn?
Weird hot is in right now, so it makes sense to call in someone like Benedict Cumberbatch, Jesse Eisenberg, or Sean Gunn to play Kirk. And did you know that Sean Gunn did some motion capture work for the characters Rocket Raccoon, Thanos, and Kraglin for the summer smash Guardians of the Galaxy? It's true! Until Eisenberg shows up in Batman Vs. Superman, I'm gonna have to say that Gunn's our guy.
Paris Geller: Liza Weil?
Who else could play Paris but Liza Weil? I'm trying to think. Hmm. I don't know! Not Gwyneth Paltrow, if that's what you're thinking. Huh. Liza Weil it is.
Miss Patty: Liz Torres?
Miss Patty did so much for the town of Stars Hollow. She taught dance classes, she helped organize certain town events, she told stories to young people that seemed too scandalous to tell to young people, and she found Rory and Dean asleep in her studio after Rory's prom. Liz Torres it is!
Dean Forester: Nobody?
Dean stinks, forget him.
Matt Czuchry / Logan Huntzberger
From what I've heard, Matt Czuchry was or still is on The Good Wife. Good for him! We'll need someone with that kind of hustle to play Logan Huntzberger in the film adaptation of Gilmore Girls.
Babette Dell: Sally Struthers?
These are sort of honestly just the first two pictures I found.
Mrs. Kim: Emily Kuroda?
Imagine how stunned fans will be to see Emily Kuroda back as Mrs. Kim after getting the shock of seeing Keiko Agena back as Lane Kim. What luck!
Jess Mariano: Milo Ventimiglia?
I'm going to have to put my foot down with this one: there is no one on Earth who should play Jess over Milo Ventimiglia. "What about Dane DeHaan?!" you're probably thinking. Uh, that's honestly a really stupid, bad choice and it doesn't even make any sense. Dane DeHaan would be a terrible Jess.
Christopher Hayden: David Sutcliffe?
My first thought for Christopher was the same as yours: Idris Elba. Sadly, I don't think Idris Elba would be in this movie. However, I do think David Sutcliffe would be in this movie.
We made a lot of tough choices here today, and I'm sure Gilmore fans might be unhappy with some of my picks. Again: that's OK! These choices aren't set in stone (by any means) and I'm sure there are some perfectly suited actors I didn't even think of, for roles I didn't even consider! Michael Winters for Taylor Doose, for instance.
[images via CW/Getty]