Boris Johnson, a man who once compared our likely future President to “a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital” and noted that Obama’s “ancestral dislike of the British empire” stems from his Kenyan heritage, is the U.K.’s new foreign secretary. And if you want some insight into how the State Department is taking the news, look no further than its own spokesman’s terrified, shit-eating grin.
The appointment happened in the middle of a State Department press conference earlier today, so Deputy Spokesman Mark Toner found out about his boss’ future new best friend from an attending reporter. At which point, Toner transitions through a number of emotions before finally catching himself and going stone-faced.
[There was a video here]
Because in addition to insulting U.S. leaders, Johnson’s list of accomplishments also include:
- Writing a poem about the Turkish president having sex with a goat
- Body-checking a Japanese schoolboy
- Accusing modern-day Papua New Guinea of engaging in “orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing”
- Alerting the people of China during the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony that ping-pong was actually “invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century. It was. And it was called wiff waff.”