“Some heartless monster stole an iPad prototype from an Apple developer’s home in Cupertino,” begins nearly every article written about the incident. It’s still at large! They took drugs and money! Did we mention the iPad? Oh—and a man was also kidnapped. But please do let us know if you hear anything about that iPad.

While CNBC’s original report has been slightly edited to clarify the whereabouts of the kidnapped human man (they eventually let him go and he’s doing fine), the original is very much worth revisiting.

But CNBC was not alone! Just look how many friends came along for the ride: The Register, Cult of Mac, Apple Insider, PC Magazine, and 9 to 5 Mac, to name a few.

Even more incredible than the tech media ignoring a pepper-spray, knife-point kidnapping, though, is the fact that they also completely overlooked the fact that the perpetrator was a woman from an online sex ad. Then again, iPad.

So was the man physically harmed? Why did his captors let him go? How is he dealing with the emotional aftermath?

Who knows. I can’t tell you that. I can, however, tell you that “this isn’t the first time an Apple product has been stolen before its public release.” So take solace in that. [h/t @selenalarson]

Image via AP

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.